The Good, The Bad, And The Post Partum Ugly

Being a mom is the most rewarding experience of my entire life. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world, and I truly feel like it has blessed my life in so many ways.

But, honestly, today, I'm struggling.

Not quite six weeks out from delivering my second son, I'm struggling with myself. I'm happy, and juggling two boys under three years old is easier than I terrified myself with. What I didn't count on was me.

Like most moms I know, unfortunately, I've put others needs in front of my own. The last time I actually had a hair appointment was eight months ago, and things aren't pretty (before my boys I was a faithful two to three month apart appointment maker). Even pulling my hair into a ponytail is exhausting. I've lost over thirty pounds since having the lil guy, but hardly anything but my dreaded maternity clothes fit. And I'm still almost thirty pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight.

It is past lunchtime, and I've just brushed my teeth, shaved my legs (in the bathroom sink) because I barely have time, and broken down in tears because I literally can't find anything suitable for an eighty degree beautiful weather day that fits (except my hideous maternity capris with the panel that teaches up to my bra, which I can't even begin to think about). I'm breastfeeding, so lil guy has to be show get his snack on when it is time.

Last night, I kind of had my first post baby rehearsal with my bellydance troupe (which I truly hoped would be a bellydance fest but just wasn't because they wanted to end early).

I know it will take time, and work. But that's the problem. I need to be able to get the work in. You know that nagging wife? I don't want to become her. I'm lucky enough to be able to have left my full time job to stay at home, and do my part time passions where I can.

But that's the problem. I haven't been able to.

It's hard to ask for help, there are very few people I can ask for help. My parents aren't in the picture, and my in-laws are halfway there. My husband works hard for us, sometimes seven days a week plus other work beyond that.

Simply put, I'm jealous that he gets to shower every single day, hardly makes dinner (which he used to when we both worked), and rarely changes a diaper. I've tried to calmly mention that I need certain things (like a shower or half an hour for yoga/dance), but it just doesn't happen. Unless I practically snap at him, which only gets me that look. The one that makes me feel like I'm being selfish. I know he doesn't mean it, but that's how I feel. He has told me it is okay to "nag" him, but I don't like the end result, which usually turns into me not doing anything for me and just doing what I do. Take care if everyone else.

These days are rare for me, but I really hope the bounce back gets bouncing more, even if I have to become more creative. But these moments remind me that I'm not superhuman, and need to have patience.

And maybe a little less chocolate. Although, I could switch to dark chocolate.

posted from Bloggeroid

Three Week Check In

Mommy observations for this week:

I seriously can no longer get a cute ponytail going. Ugh...there was once this adorable flip at the very end, all smooth and somewhat spotty. But now I'm not sure if it is because I'm in a time crunch or that my arm muscles suddenly have decided to strike on me that has made my pony not so cute anymore. And one can only sport a haphazard bun so often.
Getting dressed and ready first thing in the morning is truly the best way to get just about anything accomplished. Or feel human. In fact, even doing laundry done first thing is a huge check mark. (And by doing, I mean starting. Laundry pretty much turns into a whole/half day affair.)

You can never drink enough water. Mostly because your two year old son likes to drink out of your cup simply because it is mommy's. Basically, double what you actually need to drink. Hopefully, you'll get to actually have that much.

Frozen is a great movie. Olaf will curtail just about any temper tantrum easier than a hot knife through butter. Plus, if you've watched it twice daily for the past two weeks, there are clips on YouTube he can watch on your phone. Of course, you may never get your phone back and your child may end up watching really bad karaoke versions of "Let It Go". Hint: Lower the volume before you hand over the phone.



Best part of the week? My boys playing together. Even if the newborn has no clue, big brother is watching over his little brother. And showing him his choo-choo from the Easter Bunny. Priceless.

posted from Bloggeroid

And Baby Makes Four

Almost three weeks into bundle of joy number two, I've come to realize a few things. A few new, and a few that I'd somehow conveniently forgotten.

Funny thing about things...they attract other things. Intangible, tangible, imaginary, real. And, in the case of post-baby number two while having number one around, at the most interesting moments. Like in the middle of the night, when no one is actually sleeping.



1.) A queen size bed just doesn't cut it anymore. Between the bed hogging husband, sprawling and kicking two year old who refuses to sleep in his bed (and sneaks into your bed at varying times but usually two a.m.), the mountains of pillows, and attempting to nurse a newborn, I'm incredibly thankful our golden retriever was never permitted to join us. At least she has her own bed, all to herself.

2.) My house will never be quiet again. And if it is, something is going down. Silence equals disaster.

3.) Toddlers are like drunk college students. So, right now, my loud and clumsy lil man us just preparing me for his freshman year.

4.) My house will never be truly clean again. From matchbox cars, random snacks, discarded sippy cups, leggos, and kitchen utensils, there is always something to clean up.

4.) Mommy instincts vs. Daddy instincts are not even close. Mommy instinct is feed, change diaper, comfort, and do it all NOW. Daddy...now, their instinct is to try to figure out what to do. (Unless it is catch the falling baby.) Or, watching the baby after mommy has changed, fed, and comforted him...then put him in the swing to sleep. And forgot waking up in the middle of the night to help without being practically yelled at (a la The Change Up). I get it, no mind reading. But I'd love to once, have Daddy wake up with me to change the diaper before he gets his midnight snack. Sigh. Without getting all mad to get him to do so.

5.) Laundry, like the dishes, will be never-ending. Good thing I love the smell of laundry...and we have a washer/dryer and a dishwasher. This also adds to the whole house never clean again give.

6.) Things will never go as planned. This is actually my favorite one. Because, in all honesty, it is all in your attitude. Plans are boring. But being prepared can be helpful. If you accept this, things can be actually kind of fun. Sure, there are things you have to do. And they will get done. Eventually.

7.) Children learn things incredibly fast, and usually after seeing things only once. My two year old lets the dog out, has locked me out of the house (and taken the screen out of a window so that I could get back in), and knows where my Marshmallow Crispy Oreo stash is. He also gives great hugs, helps change his baby brother's diaper, and feeds the cat.

8.) Bathroom time is no longer private or a sanctuary. The fact that I can get a shower some days is a miracle in and of itself.

9.) I've never been happier. I worried when I was pregnant with number two that I couldn't possibly love another baby the way I loved my lil man. But, the great thing about love is that it doesn't just stay the same size then divide...it grows.

I'm sure the list will grow every day. But who's counting?

posted from Bloggeroid

Pumping At Midnight

Ah, the joys of mommyhood...or, should I say, the joys of bringing home a newborn that you quickly forget and suddenly remember.

It is two a.m., and my little guy is still wondrously slumbering. Don't get me wrong, this is an entirely welcome event. Our first slept through the night after only a few days, so I was prepared for this one not to. I knew I was lucky with little man, and perhaps wouldn't be this time around.

Since I'm breastfeeding, I am totally prepared to blindly reach over and scoop out the little bundle and get our smack on. Even with a two year old cuddled up at my side. (A queen sized bed is simply not big enough, I've discovered. Thank goodness our golden was never allowed on the furniture. Plus, she has a bed all to herself.)

But, tonight, I was reminded of another tidbit I'd conveniently forgotten. The leaky boob...

I wasn't awakened by the hungry little noises of my newborn, but the slightly overflowing breastmilk my new son was sleeping through. So here I am, pumping away, snuggled under a blanket.

Ah, the nighttime joys of mommyhood. I'm pretty sure when I go to climb back into bed, someone will wake up, all ready for a snack...

posted from Bloggeroid

Oh, Coconut Oil, How I Love Thee!!!

Coconut oil and raw unfiltered honey have suddenly replaced the ten or so bottles of various beauty addiction products that used to fill up my bathroom (though, I admit, really I keep them in the kitchen).

You know the drill. This fabulous new/hot product will give you everything you've been dreaming of...soft frizz-free hair, with a healthy shine that everyone will envy. Either you've read about it in your latest edition subscription, a friend raves about it, or your helpful hair stylist made you look incredibly gorgeous at your last appointment so you just had to have "it".

But, even if I could get it to work once (and we know we will never get the look our stylist will give us at home), never again does that miracle and expensive product deliver. And, if it does, the extra work I had to put into it just doesn't happen with a two year old and new baby on the way.

I have what I like to call the product graveyard. And, because of the amount of money I've dished out for those miracle products, I just can't bring myself to get rid of them.
Until now.

I've been a "no 'poo" addict for over a year now (although at the beginning of my pregnancy I had to find alternate conditioning routes...the apple cider vinegar and I weren't close friends for awhile), and that started my searching Pinterest for more alternatives to the expensive and chemical filled products I once bought by way too many.

There are dozens of variations on the "no 'poo" conditioning route (the baking soda and water wash is pretty standard...though, I may try washing with raw honey and water eventually), and after trying a few, finally, I've found my perfect combo.

My thick, semi curly, and incredibly long hair rebelled at bananas/avocados, and yogurt/egg yolks just didn't cut it. Enter of my favorite things...

Organic virgin coconut oil. The great thing about coconut oil? I can use it for so many things...wait, this could be bad!

In the kitchen as a substitute for oil and non-stick awesomeness (a higher heat tolerance with a touch of sweetness), fabulous in smoothies. Beauty uses? In an exfoliating scrub (leaves skin super soft and hydrated), a no fuss lip balm, after shower/bath moisturizer, stretch mark remedy (um, second baby here!) added to cocoa butter, the afore mentioned hair conditioner, anti-frizz/leave-in hair treatment.

Plus, it just smells like summer....

posted from Bloggeroid

My Favorite Things...Softlips In The Polar Vortex

If there is one thing that I've noticed about this neverending and frozen winter season, it is how dry the air in my house is from the heat being on an endless cycle of fighting Polar Vortex after Polar Vortex.

My humidifiers can't keep up.

Between a stuffy and dry nose and chappedr lips, I feel like the Sahara Desert has nothing on my humble abode. Searching endlessly and trying everything from vitamin e oil, to coconut oil, to plain old vaseline,and Sugar Lip Moisturizer (Blistex and I do not mix), I finally found a lip moisturizer that works, and doesn't break the bank.



Softlips Intense Moisture...just what this mommy who has less than two weeks for baby boy number two to make his arrival needed. Because really, who, at ten days from their due date wants to dish out forty bucks for lip scrub and moisture rich expensive lip balm from Sephora? I'm lucky if I change my yoga pants at this point. And, yes, I have totally been using Pinterest to make my own various products, but, again...yoga pants and showers take precedence. Especially with a two and a half year old.

Did I mention they are $1.99...for two? LOVE. My husband and lil man even use it.

Mint or Very Berry? Hmmm, I'll take both. I mean, I need at least one for my purse, one for my night stand, one for the boys, and one for the hospital bag.

posted from Bloggeroid

You Have To Complain The Right Way

Ever since I've had my lil man, an entirely strange thing has happened.

Time has someone gotten shorter for me. Time to shop (even a quick trip to the grocery store), time to sleep (the horror!), even shower. Which means if I do take the minuscule moment I have to actually attempt to purchase something, there needs to be minimal to zero issues with excellent customer service. Unfortunately, this really hasn't been the case for me lately.

Understandably, it is Holiday/post crazy season for retailers, and having had fifteen years of my life spent in the glorious halls of consumerism (sarcasm but with a smile!), I get that there may just be a few bumps in the road.

For example, take my Teavana experience. Now, expecting my next bundle of joy (who will, with no doubt, make time even more precious) I've taken a serious look just as I did before at what I drink and eat. So, no caffeine and I'm very aware of herbal and food items.

So, no coffee. Or tea.

But, just because I have two months to go, doesn't mean my husband has suddenly stopped partaking of my tea stash. Enter Teavana's Heavenly Sale.



I quickly make my choices, knowing I can store and hide a few favorites, while the daddy can have his tea and drink it, too. I order on my mobile, while the two year old shows me all his new vehicles (with sound on!!), missing the free shipping with $50! At $42, I totally will spend $8 to get $12 more...especially on sale.

I frantically call the customer service line to add to my order...and sit on hold for half an hour. Again, I get it, sale and holiday time. But, I'm also keeping the two year old occupied. Oy!!!

Thankfully, the customer service rep helps a mommy out, and adds on to my order. This is last Friday...I receive the original email confirmation, but nothing else. I put my faith (mostly due to the lack of time to be put on hold) in Teavana. And wait (I've been warned my order probably won't get sent over the weekend).

Wednesday, I call back...no email saying the order has shipped. Again, I am on hold. This time, I request a call back. Time being short. Thursday, no call. Again, I call and request a call back after being painfully on hold, plus email my order number with concerns (most of the items I ordered are no longer available) and receive the automated reply.

Friday, still nothing. During nap time (the hour and a half I sometimes get to try to do sometimes!!!), I jump on Twitter, and mention a short tweet about my situation.

Voila!!!

DM, requesting my order number. Within the hour, I receive an email stating my order has shipped. Then, confirmation with all items listed!

Evidently, social media is the way to go. Customer service at its finest...

Thanks for the help. Hopefully, the rest of our road isn't as bumpy ;-)

(Update...a week and three days later, my order is set to arrive today. Hopefully. I did succumb to temptation and picked up a few more treasures in store before the sale ended. Downside? Was told by two different locations that there is a four/eight ounce minimum required for loose leaf tea purchases. Hmm?)