Saturday, May 24, 2014

Things No One Told Me

Things no one ever told me...

Your home will never be quiet again. There will be someone yelling "Mama!", "Mama?", "Mama!!!!!!", "Mama?!?!?!", "Zen!" (translation: Frozen!), "Dada!!!!!!!!!!!", toys squealing/talking/beeping, and screaming when he sees the cat.

You'll never know what day it is. As in actual date or day of the week. As in you'll probably think it is one day, but actually another and miss your credit card payment. Or birthdays, unless Facebook reminds you.

Showering becomes a luxury, and nothing will make you feel like a brand new woman than getting to take a quick two minute blast of hot water greatness. Shaving your legs? Better than winning the lottery. For real.

Every single time you clean up something, do not expect it to stay that way. Especially the kitchen, your tv room, bathroom...because even if you clean it all up, toys will take over and the pillows from the couch will end up on the floor.

The simplest words will melt your heart. "Choo choo" does this to me every single time. Not just because it sounds adorable, but because that single word makes him so happy that the look on his face makes all the rest seem trivial. Then there's tummy time...

Now, how can you resist smiling when you see that?

posted from Bloggeroid

Thursday, May 8, 2014

The Good, The Bad, And The Post Partum Ugly

Being a mom is the most rewarding experience of my entire life. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world, and I truly feel like it has blessed my life in so many ways.

But, honestly, today, I'm struggling.

Not quite six weeks out from delivering my second son, I'm struggling with myself. I'm happy, and juggling two boys under three years old is easier than I terrified myself with. What I didn't count on was me.

Like most moms I know, unfortunately, I've put others needs in front of my own. The last time I actually had a hair appointment was eight months ago, and things aren't pretty (before my boys I was a faithful two to three month apart appointment maker). Even pulling my hair into a ponytail is exhausting. I've lost over thirty pounds since having the lil guy, but hardly anything but my dreaded maternity clothes fit. And I'm still almost thirty pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight.

It is past lunchtime, and I've just brushed my teeth, shaved my legs (in the bathroom sink) because I barely have time, and broken down in tears because I literally can't find anything suitable for an eighty degree beautiful weather day that fits (except my hideous maternity capris with the panel that teaches up to my bra, which I can't even begin to think about). I'm breastfeeding, so lil guy has to be show get his snack on when it is time.

Last night, I kind of had my first post baby rehearsal with my bellydance troupe (which I truly hoped would be a bellydance fest but just wasn't because they wanted to end early).

I know it will take time, and work. But that's the problem. I need to be able to get the work in. You know that nagging wife? I don't want to become her. I'm lucky enough to be able to have left my full time job to stay at home, and do my part time passions where I can.

But that's the problem. I haven't been able to.

It's hard to ask for help, there are very few people I can ask for help. My parents aren't in the picture, and my in-laws are halfway there. My husband works hard for us, sometimes seven days a week plus other work beyond that.

Simply put, I'm jealous that he gets to shower every single day, hardly makes dinner (which he used to when we both worked), and rarely changes a diaper. I've tried to calmly mention that I need certain things (like a shower or half an hour for yoga/dance), but it just doesn't happen. Unless I practically snap at him, which only gets me that look. The one that makes me feel like I'm being selfish. I know he doesn't mean it, but that's how I feel. He has told me it is okay to "nag" him, but I don't like the end result, which usually turns into me not doing anything for me and just doing what I do. Take care if everyone else.

These days are rare for me, but I really hope the bounce back gets bouncing more, even if I have to become more creative. But these moments remind me that I'm not superhuman, and need to have patience.

And maybe a little less chocolate. Although, I could switch to dark chocolate.

posted from Bloggeroid